Around my 3rd year of college, I discovered Pray Together, Stay Together and it left me absolutely breathless. I had not too long before broken up with the love of my life for one reason: spiritual incompatibility (and the cruel irony is that he and I visually resemble this couple). [Re-]dedicating my life to Christ during a long-distance phase in our relationship made me realize that my boyfriend wasn't about to ride on that journey with me. It was heart-breaking to end what felt like the best thing to ever happen to me, but I had to prove to God that HE was more important to me than him. I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped my emotional transition, leading to the next promise I made to God about relationships [the previous one being that I wouldn't have sex until marriage]. I said "God, I trust that You know and want what's best for me. So I want You to choose my next relationship--the one that will be equally [spiritually] yoked and culminate in marriage, until it is broken by death."
So that was *ahem* a long, LONG time ago... #becarefulwhatyouprayfor! And in recent times, I've become overwhelmed by longing for this person to whom I will become friend/wife/lover/helpmeet, to the point that I've been contemplating getting back with [wait for it...] that same old boyfriend. Makes perfect sense, right?! I hold out for years with great expectations of God's best, only to figuratively return to my vomit... And then I would proceed to entertain that flesh with fantastic scenarios in my mind delicious enough to make my body temperature rise. *slams on spiritual brakes*
OK God, You ain't sayin' nuthin' and I am SO over this waiting business! So, you better give me a man, or a hint--or sumthin' like, yesterday--or else I'm gonna... I'm gonna... do something stupid thatAnd what happens next? Just like
You'llI'll regret!!! And then I'll just askbeg and plead for forgiveness like nothing happened. That is what You do, right?? [Just in case you missed it, that was me threatening God with an ultimatum. Right.]
Hint #1 - Affirmative prayer via e-mail from my (single) friend and leader of a women's prayer circle containing the following excerpt:
Hint #2 - Sermon audio clip shared by another (single) friend: The Making of a Woman by Pastor Jeffrey JohnsonHelp me to never settle for less than what you desire for me....Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me.
Hint #3 - Q/A Tumblr post by Jed Brewer: Why is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?