Sunday, December 02, 2012

turning a page...

It has been a while, wow... I've missed you. :-)  I've been quiet for the last couple of weeks for several reasons.  I started off on a path to self-development and spiritual renewal which was going well... and then things started taking some interesting turns--not all for the best, I'm afraid.  

I've been battling with how to handle some major 'possibilities' that have surfaced recently--two things, in particular, that I've spent years in waiting for.  Both are of life-altering magnitude and I am just beside myself in trying to discern God's direction.  

There's a level of selfishness that I've noticed in myself, though, and acting on it can completely derail everything God has done in my life up to this point.  It scares me... that I have even considered taking this situation into my own hands, effectively flying in God's face--and then planning to beg for His mercy afterwards.  Yes ladies and gentlemen: that is how you [plan to] abuse the grace of God.  For the record, I neither recommend nor endorse my own [planned] behavior but I am just being open transparent with you.

It truly is disconcerting: contemplating things that I considered absolutely unthinkable before.  The battle with our flesh (i.e. natural inclination towards sin) is legit, and I'm feeling understanding that now more than ever.  The good thing is that I'm not alone in this. Others have gone through it, are going through it now and will go through it in the future.  I love the way Paul consoles and enlightens us about this struggle in Romans 8:

Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.
But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. 12 Therefore, dear brothers and sisters,[e] you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. 13 For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature,[f] you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children[g] of God.

I hope to be driven by God's voice and filled with His spirit in all that I do, but I can't do it alone.  So I'm asking for your prayers as I close out 2012, and seek to open a new chapter of my life in 2013.  Thanks in advance, and stay tuned!

be blessed,

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