Sunday, June 22, 2014


That's the first word that comes to mind when, as an outsider looking in, I witness the kind of women around me who are already married. I'll be the first to admit that the saying is true: Comparison is the thief of joy.  But at the same time, I ask myself "Is that how I have to be to get a ring??"  I mean, women who can't/don't cook; women who are overbearing and bossy; women who are not even slightly... well, I'll leave that one alone since I'm being judgmental enough.

The nature of my comments betray the fact that I am ultimately judging myself.  By comparing the things that I can/will do in a marriage to the things that [some] married women can't/won't, I am saying simply this: Well, what's wrong with me??  

Don't get it twisted, though--I am well aware of the fact that people get married for all the wrong reasons. Simply walking down the aisle is the easiest part of what should be a life-long commitment to love and to cherish.  But all I'm saying is, this is something of a 'wake-up' call regarding my ideals vs. the realities of marriage.  I have absolutely NO right to say who deserves to be proposed to [even though I have definitely questioned why some women did #realtalk], but I now realize that things I thought were supposed to be requirements are not necessarily even priorities.  Makes me wonder what the odds are of getting hitched to a man who doesn't care how I look, or what I say, or if I can keep house.... cuz I know some sistas who definitely hit those jackpots! But I digress...

It's these kinds of superficial ramblings that fill my head; clearly not the kind of content I want to make a habit of posting. But I guess I'm sharing this because I view it as some sort of revelation.  I don't have to be the Proverbs 31 woman to get a husband!! But then that begs the question: What kind of man would I get?


  1. hey lady, thanks for visiting my blog, glad to see you have decided to keep going with yours.

    #realtalk - you spoke the truth when you said comparison is the thief of joy. I've been married 12 years. And I'm a terrible housekeeper. I try my best, but hey, I suck at it. Always have. But I can also afford a housekeeper. Only my husband and I know why we are married. And only he knows why he chose me, lack of housekeeping skills and all.

    What I am trying to say is... you are comparing yourself to people where you may not know all the details. Make yourself the best you you can be for you. Focus on you, build your self-esteem and faith up. I admire and look up to the Proverbs 31 woman, she is an ideal and I will always want to be that way. You should too. And like you said, By judging others you are judging yourself.

    Im sorry, hope this isn't too harsh. You can always delete it.

    1. No, not harsh at all; respectful opinions are always welcomed!

      It's good to hear from the married side, and my married friends always remind me that it's not "the holy grail".

      I guess the main point I was trying to express here is that all of the pre-conceived notions I had about what is "required" of a wife got shot to hell. So it truly is God who brings a couple together based on their individual needs--and not traditional roles as dictated by society.

      Thanks for your candor... Don't be a stranger! I'll be visiting your blog more, as well! God bless!