Saturday, December 17, 2011

taking health for granted

In the last 2 weeks, I've become very aware of my body.  The funny thing is how I almost never take the time to think about what makes it work; I just enjoy--and appreciate--the fact that it does.  Don't get me wrong, I thank God for life, health and strength every day, but more out of habit than out of conscious awareness. That changed recently when my body started to get my attention by using pain as a language. 

I had 2 specific bouts of mind-numbing, physical pain recently... the kind that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy.  Never experienced muscle spasms before in my life but lemme tell yuh, the ones that ran through my back and side had me on my knees--in submission and in prayer!  They came in unrelenting waves and with such intensity that I couldn't even breathe right.  Inhaling was always trumped by the spasm; I learned to breathe around them or suffer with a bolt of pain.  And for whatever reason, these episodes occurred late at night so, for me, sleep was just a dream while my reality consisted of torment.

When I finally went to the doctor, I was told that I had some sort of bacterial infection. HUH?! After taking the prescribed meds that apparently didn't work, I'm now at the point where I've been referred for diagnostic imaging [to see what's going on inside].

Scary. There's no other way to describe how it feels when your health is threatened by something yet unknown.  I've prayed for healing--and I still am--but to be at the mercy of 'diagnosis X' is nothing short of unnerving.  And this is completely ironic for me since I'm trying to make a living out of navigating medical/health information.  I love watching Grey's Anatomy because I'm not the one laid up in the hospital... but the truth is that I've never even stayed overnight in one (as a patient).  And my 'plan' was to not have that happen until I give birth to my child(ren).  I pray to God that I can stick to my plan.

And speaking of prayers, I'm asking everyone who reads this to please send some up for me.  Conventional medicine is all good but there's nothing quite like the healing power of prayer.  Thanks in advance! :o)