Saturday, June 30, 2012

something is wrong [confessional]

In the last few weeks, I've noticed a spike in certain behaviors that I know have some issues behind them: online shopping and [emotional] eating.  (I would've included lustful thoughts in the mix, but those seem to never completely go away. #FAIL) It's no secret that these kinds of things are used to mask some underlying problem; I just don't know what that problem is.  Or maybe I do know what it is but I just don't want to admit it.  Because if I do that, then I'll have to give it to God... and leave it there... leave myself exposed... exposed to exchanging my 'security blankets' for God's love and having to trust that it's [more than] enough to meet my needs.

That's scary... even for someone who has been 'saved' as long as I have. How pitiful is that? *sigh*  I'm gonna fast tomorrow--no solid food until the sun goes down.  And by that time, I hope I would have put to rest whatever's eating at my soul.  Recently, I got a hint that God has a major breakthrough coming my way, so it shouldn't be surprising that I feel so overwhelmed all of a sudden.  The night is always darkest before the dawn... Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning... 

By dawn on Monday morning, I pray that my fast would have brought me God's peace about what happened, is happening, and will happen in my life. Your prayers in agreement are also appreciated. Amen.


  1. you are invited to follow my blog

  2. Steve - Thanks for the invitation.

    OtC - You know that's always appreciated! :o)