Sunday, March 18, 2012

the "Black girl curse"

Real talk or just hype? Strangely enough, I found myself either relating directly to each of the women in this video in some way, or knowing a personal friend who does. (Except the 30-year-old attorney/NFL Cheerleader driving the Benz... you GO girl! No, really!) Is it coincidence?  Y'all know how I feel about that... But to do the math amongst my friends and classmates in my age range, I would say that it's roughly 50:50 married-to-single, with 2 (one man, one woman) being in interracial marriages.

Plus, I'm still tryna figure out how Steve Harvey became a relationship guru... or is this really some sort of sick and extended stand-up act?  I haven't [and probably won't] read his book, but one thing he said really caught my attention.  Tune in at 6:08 and let me know if you think that's a genuine contributing factor to the dilemma at hand.

While I personally subscribe to the philosophy of lasting socio-cultural damage done to the black family during the trans-Atlantic slavery era, I harbor no ill will towards black women--or anyone else--who date/marry outside of their race.  We're all members of the human race and should have the right to love 'across colors'.  But when notions of promotion and encouragement for us to look elsewhere except to black men are suggested as the answer, that always triggers a snap reaction in me.  When I hear/read comments asking "Why are black women hell-bent on marrying black men?", I indignantly retort "Why the hell not??!"  I don't know of any other ethnic group being out-rightly advised to taste other flavors because their own is leaving a bad taste in their mouth.  Apparently, "research" shows that black women just leave a bad taste in everyone's mouths; but I facetiously digress.

This matter obviously hits home for me, and God knows I can chop this up from morning 'til night but I didn't intend for this to turn into an emotionally-charged tirade.  One thing I will do is continue to pray that God will guide couples together.  And, hopefully they, too, are seeking God about whom they should marry... regardless of skin color, occupation, social status, or otherwise.

be blessed,


  1. Very insightful post! It is crazy how difficult it has become for black women to find a suitable black man. And the more I progress in life, the slimmer the chances seem to get. However, I agree that we should not simply eliminate our options of being with a black man nor disregard our generation and go for the older. Patience is the key word here. In addition, chances are always slim when you're trying to go for the right thing, or the best thing for you, so perseverance is another key term here. We will get there. Personally, I am trying to continue to better myself, so I will be ready when that man comes. Definitely don't want to miss out on him and have to start the whole process again lol. So no settling either.

  2. Thanks, V_Well--I think we're on the right track as far as keeping hope alive for the "bruhs". In fact, this whole issue has inspired me to pray about ways to be part of the solution instead of just complaining about the problem. So the question I ask myself and other black women is "What can we do to help our men become [and see us as] 'suitable' marriage partners?" When I come up with an answer, or if you do, let's be sure to share the knowledge! :o)