"virginity" vs. "God" on Grey's Anatomy

I've been a die-hard Grey's Anatomy fan from the jump... and I'm still a Christian (imagine that!).  If you're not familiar with the show, it's about a group of young doctors working their way up the ranks of their medical careers, along with all the drama that swirls around in their lives while they do this.  Honestly, I like the medical content more than anything else but the characters have sucked me in. And I blame Shonda Rhimes for that, but anyway...  Something specific in the episode that aired last week, Let the Bad Times Roll, seriously disturbed me so I decided to chop it up here.

One character, April Kepner, stands out from the rest [at least, she did, until last week] as the only virgin in the group of mostly promiscuous physicians.  She confessed this one or two seasons ago but I don't recall if she ever shared why she never had sex up to that point.  Welp, fast-forward to the present where all of the young doctors travel to take their board exams and--to make a long story short--April gets drunk, gets aggressive, and gets laid (by one of her colleagues).  To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement... not just at the fact that she gave it up so casually, but her [physical] demeanor right after the act was portrayed in a way that I found to be simply unrealistic.

I was pissed off enough up to that point, but when April is shown coming to grips with her actions the next day--of her board exam--she becomes completely hysterical... and then starts talkin' bout Jesus... something to the effect that she had remained a virgin because she loved Jesus and now that she is no longer one, Jesus no longer loved her.

Now let me make it clear--I fully understand the guilt and shame that comes with doing something sinful and feeling like you let God down.  My angst is directed towards the scriptwriter [once again, that would be Shonda Rhimes] for playing the "J card" now that April did something 'wrong', as opposed to mentioning April's Christian convictions from the jump.  And to add insult to injury, April later delves into a monologue in which she basically questions why she even had said convictions to begin with. *spoiler alert*  Finally, she discovers that she's the only doctor of the group to fail the boards.

April's end result said one thing to me--and possibly to other viewers, as well: God punished her [i.e. "no longer loved her"] for losing her virginity outside of marriage.  Am I saying that God doesn't exact consequences for breaking His rules?  Not at all.  Do I think that this obviously non-Christian TV show should have used this opportunity to show an example of God's grace and mercy?  Possibly.  But the major bone I have to pick here is that Jesus was used as the 'fall guy'.  He is wrongfully accused by April on account of her own guilty conscience, after which she essentially dismisses her faith in Him and then she fails the biggest exam of her life (and that's His fault too, obviously).  How convenient to leave the Lord out of the picture until things start going wrong and then highlight His ineptitude/vengeance.  Seriously...

Pray Together

I claim no rights to this image... except the right to dream; to pray; to declare with authority that this masterpiece by Kevin "WAK" Williams completely encapsulates my vision of love and marriage.  It is 'the prototype', as far as I'm concerned.

Around my 3rd year of college, I discovered Pray Together, Stay Together and it left me absolutely breathless.  I had not too long before broken up with the love of my life for one reason: spiritual incompatibility (and the cruel irony is that he and I visually resemble this couple).  [Re-]dedicating my life to Christ during a long-distance phase in our relationship made me realize that my boyfriend wasn't about to ride on that journey with me.  It was heart-breaking to end what felt like the best thing to ever happen to me, but I had to prove to God that HE was more important to me than him.  I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped my emotional transition, leading to the next promise I made to God about relationships [the previous one being that I wouldn't have sex until marriage].  I said "God, I trust that You know and want what's best for me. So I want You to choose my next relationship--the one that will be equally [spiritually] yoked and culminate in marriage, until it is broken by death."

So that was *ahem* a long, LONG time ago... #becarefulwhatyouprayfor!  And in recent times, I've become overwhelmed by longing for this person to whom I will become friend/wife/lover/helpmeet, to the point that I've been contemplating getting back with [wait for it...] that same old boyfriend.  Makes perfect sense, right?!  I hold out for years with great expectations of God's best, only to figuratively return to my vomit...  And then I would proceed to entertain that flesh with fantastic scenarios in my mind delicious enough to make my body temperature rise. *slams on spiritual brakes*

OK God, You ain't sayin' nuthin' and I am SO over this waiting business! So, you better give me a man, or a hint--or sumthin' like, yesterday--or else I'm gonna... I'm gonna... do something stupid that You'll I'll regret!!! And then I'll just ask beg and plead for forgiveness like nothing happened.  That is what You do, right?? [Just in case you missed it, that was me threatening God with an ultimatum. Right.]

And what happens next? Just like magic God in all His awesomeness, the following messages supernaturally make their way to me:

Hint #1 - Affirmative prayer via e-mail from my (single) friend and leader of a women's prayer circle containing the following excerpt:

Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me....Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me.

Hint #2 - Sermon audio clip shared by another (single) friend: The Making of a Woman by Pastor Jeffrey Johnson

Hint #3 - Q/A Tumblr post by Jed Brewer: Why is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

So I've 'heard' from God... What happens now?  I wait some more.  I trust even more.  I pray--a whole lot more!  Because the image above is emblazoned across my consciousness, I won't can't accept anything less, no matter how baaaadly I want to.  God knows that in my heart, I want to adhere to His design for marriage and His perfect will for my life, so I believe that He will honor this in spectacular fashion!  He will orchestrate my discovery as the missing rib to the man who has prayed and fasted for me.  He will guide us together in a moment where our spirits will embrace each other before our bodies have even touched.  And once our bodies do touch for the first time on our wedding night... *mmh* we will be asking begging Him for mercy as our bond of emotional intimacy is sealed in ways we didn't know were humanly possible!  

But once the honeymoon subsides and real life sets in, our spirits will continue to commune with each other in the presence of almighty God.  We will storm the gates of hell in prayer and fasting because this man understands and walks in authority as the high priest of his home!  We will plead the blood of Jesus over our children, families and friends.  We will serve faithfully in our church and community, sowing into the lives of others.  We will be an exponentially greater threat to satan together than we ever could have been individually.  Shoo, we will even pray for God to keep us from killing each other on those 'off' days when he's not feeling me and when he's getting on my last nerve.

But until all of this comes to pass, I will continue to pray.  Then, he and I will pray--together... and stay together.  In Jesus' name, AMEN.

in prayer for him,

pVI

Lord, is that You??

I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to throw things to the winds of coincidence; I prefer to subscribe to the literal omnipotence of God.  So when I come in contact with a certain concept/experience several times within a certain period of time, I take it as a word from the Holy Spirit to my own.  For example, I would go to church and the sermon focused on a certain topic.  Then the same topic would come up randomly in a convo with someone who wasn't in church to hear the sermon.  Or, I would hear a related song on the radio or come across similar content online.  This happened in the months leading up to my first trip to Africa.  I would hear and see 'random' things related to my destination country to the point where I was convinced the planets had aligned to herald my pilgrimage to the Motherland. Something like that is what I've heard some call confirmation: essentially, God trying to get a certain point across by repeated exposure in any and all forms.

Interestingly enough, I've come across two particular instances of [what I would normally call] confirmation in the last 36 hours, all completely online:  intimacy and interracial relationships.  Yeah, I'm kinda freakin' out a little too...  The instances of intimacy started with a comment that I made on a friend's status on Facebook about intimacy being the foundation of God's intention for sex within marriage.  Shortly after, I stumble onto [yet another] new relationship advice web presence for single women--Finding Soulmate Success.  So, I'm perusing the site when the heading of a piece looked vaguely familiar... How to Restore Your Intimacy. *arf?* I didn't read the article but took a mental note, gave my computer the side-eye, and kept it moving.  Now, today, back on Facebook, another friend liked a post that made me do a double-take because it was highlighting what intimacy wasn't [sex] and was.  At this point, I'm wondering what the heck is really going on because right about now, I'm not in any relationship to apply said intimacy... unless you consider my relationship with Jesus.

Next up is the one that I found especially amusing.  In poking around the Finding Soulmate Success site, I decided to do the mandatory due diligence on its author, Ronn Elmore, PsyD.  One of his books caught my eye--How to Love a Black Man--so I did a web search on that.  Somehow, one of the results was a website devoted to interracial dating; specifically white men with black women... not sure how that happened but my interest was piqued so I looked around to see what people had to say.  I ended up reading comments about an interview with Robin Thicke on his relationship with Paula Patton.  After that, it was back over to--you guessed it--Facebook where things really got interesting.  One of my girlfriends posted about a movie she recently saw and liked, and tagged me in it.  Guess what it was about... Yup! A black woman falling in love with a white man... Starting to notice a pattern here?  *raised eyebrow*  So I message her asking why I was the only name she tagged and her response was fairly innocent.  But when I told her why I wanted to know, she joked with me that it was a sign that I needed to be more open-minded about finding my soulmate.  Well, I can honestly say that I've never dated a white man simply because, up to this point, one has never approached me.  (I was wrapped up with a bi-racial dude for a while... does that count?)  But real talk, aside from celebrity eye candy or a cute face on the street, there has never been a white guy that I have been genuinely attracted to like that.  Add my African heritage mindset plus my natural preference for 'dark chocolate' even among black men and I think you see where I'm going.  And then there's the socio-cultural disparity that would exist with me dating a white guy... I dunno if God is tryna give me a heads-up or what. 

Welp, at this point, I have anything but confirmation on the happenings above, but thanks for coming along with me for the crazy ride.  It will be interesting to see if anything significant comes of these... it it does, trust me when I say you'll hear it from me!  *sigh*  Never a dull moment...

be blessed,

pVI

Fling Chune FRIDAY: Meditate

Happy Friday and 'day-after-Turkey-day' to one and all! Sorry this week's chune is running late, but I can assure you that it's not due to Black Friday madness! I haven't shopped for the day (we'll see how long that lasts, though). LOL  But my Thanksgiving was chill, which is normal for me. I'm an only child and my parents divorced when I was a younggin', so I've never really been the beneficiary of those tight-knit family holiday gatherings... and that's fine. 

Today's chune is something of a note-to-self, in that my mind has been going buck wild lately.  I've always had an active imagination and intense thought life [it's an only child thing; you wouldn't understand], but things have gotten to a whole 'nother level... and not in a good way, either.  This will probably be more than you ever care to hear me say, but I'll put it out there, anyway: I'm thinking about sex. Yeah, I said it--this Christian woman thinks about SEX! Like, my inner porn star God-given sexual nature wants to make itself known. *sigh* Too bad that's not an option for me within the immediate future... (And that's already TMI, so I'll shut this convo down...unless you choose to bring it up in the comment box. Then it's on and poppin'! LOL)

But back to the chune at hand--I need to re-focus my thoughts on what really matters.  I want to throw my mind into God with the same reckless abandon, but the score is shaping up like this: God=4, sex=277. #FAIL  So Meditate by sister-group Out of Eden came to mind after having it on heavy rotation back in my college daze.  That was around the time I recently re-committed my life to Christ and needed all the help I could get to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.  I guess life is truly cyclical as I'm in a similar state of mind almost 10 years later.  The good thing is that God remains the same yesterday, today and forever!

Be blessed!

pVI