All hail the homewrecker!

So it seems to be a "thing" now, where side-piece status has become waaaay glamorous. It's, like, cool to roll up in OPP... then ultimately become legit. You know, peeps like Angelina Jolie, Alicia Keys, Gabrielle Union and, most recently, the scandalous Olivia Pope.  I'll admit that there's nothing new under the sun, and infidelity didn't show up on the scene yesterday [cue Prince Charles].  But somehow, it's like women--who are usually the 'victims' of an unfaithful partner--have become cheerleaders of other women who are breaking up relationships... all in the name of "true love".  For the record, I am fully aware that women do their share of dirt but the odds are that pretty much in favor of the man stepping out. #dontshootthemessenger

 

I see it online all the time: comments from women about how 'he' and 'she' are so in love, they are an amazing couple, and were truly meant to be... never mind that 'she' met 'him' in an established relationship.  It was maybe less than a generation ago that society used to shun them for their dastardly deeds and the term "homewrecker" was reserved just for the type of women who are now treated like pop-culture rockstars.   This really amazes me because I'm a stickler for little things called vows and commitment.

 

Don't get it twisted, though... I'm not letting the men off the hook! A home can't be wrecked without TWO willing participants and these men are just as much to blame.  So what if they fell out of love with their partners? Particularly for those who were married, that man stood before God, family and loved ones to declare their love and commitment, for better or worse.  Tough times in a relationship are NO EXCUSE for infidelity, but I also know that some people just aren't meant to be together. But here's how I feel: a divorce or complete breakup should be in effect before entertaining any other interests--I don't care how evil, manipulative, boring, unattractive, etc a partner becomes!!

 

So to anyone who has encouraged an illegitimate relationship for the sake of chemistry, compatibility, happiness, or 'real love', just ask yourself how you would feel if it happened to you. I wouldn't' wish that kind of betrayal on anyone simply because I never want to experience it myself. I don't care how happy and fulfilled those couples may seem  now, God and/or karma will have the final say.  Call me a hater if ya want but it is what it is.

 

#rantover

appreciating/adorning the feminine form

Somewhat recently, perhaps in the last couple of years, I began embracing my body for what it is, as opposed to what I wish it was it isn't.  I've already shared my REAL thoughts about womanhood, but this post is dedicated to some of the ways in which we accentuate our bodies.


As a lover of cultures the world over, I find it interesting to observe expressions of 'beauty' by women in different places.  I am particularly enamored with "traditional" [i.e. old world] body treatments and accessories that render a woman alluring as opposed to just plain bawdy.  To me, feeling feminine--sexy, even--is more about the confidence that comes with accentuating one's positive features than just putting all your goodies (and not-so-goodies) on display.  In my humble opinion, there are two forms of adornment that do just that: mehndi/henna and waist beads.

Henna

designs from henna stains (the 'after')
photo credit: halaah-io.blogspot.com

As intricate as a tattoo but without the permanence, henna body art has been a mainstay for women over thousands of years.  East Africa, the Middle East and South Asia are the areas where most adherents are found but it's become more popular in Western societies. Henna comes from the crushed leaves of the plant Lawsonia inermis.  The resulting paste is applied to skin, nails and hair for several hours, and then removed to impart a reddish-brown color. 

freshly applied henna paste (the 'before')
photo credit: alibaba.com

The most popularly known use of henna is probably in the form of mehndi, term of South Asian origin given to the process of applying it to the body.  Indian weddings are quite epic and the bride/bridal party are normally lavished in mehndi before the main ceremony.   However, designs are often differentiated between South Asian and Arabic origin.

henna-treated hair
photo credit: hennablogspot.com

 I love it because of the unlimited designs that can be made on the skin, sans the pain and staying power of a traditional tattoo. #winning  It's all natural--not to be confused with the dangerous "black henna" on the market--and gives a gorgeous organic look.  For those who want to go for a bolder vibe, henna artists are even adding colored glitter and rhinestones to the mix.  For hair, it is reported to strengthen strands, loosen tight curl patterns and boost shine, along with an auburn tint; similar in intensity to a chemical rinse  (disclaimer: I've never used it in my hair but I plan to in the near future). 

Waist Beads

image credit: http://funkyeclecticjewelry.blogspot.com

Waist beads, not to be confused with the recent "belly chain" craze, are almost completely attributed to the African continent.  They have been traditionally worn by females to signify many things [depending on types and colors of the beads used]: age, maturity, chastity, marriage, and health. Supposedly, a small girl is given waist beads to shape her figure as she grows into a woman.  In some cases, I've heard that the string must be cut when she loses her virginity; others times, it is said that a woman's beads must only be seen/touched by her husband.  Different colors are also said to have varying properties and the string can be dipped in scented/medicinal oils for healing purposes.

image credit: http://uniqueafricanarts.com/blog

I think waist beads are uber-feminine because they accentuate the region of the woman where life is perpetuated.  Regardless of her figure, whether they run through her navel area or are hip-slung, or if single or multiple strands are worn, they enhance awareness of the blessing that has been bestowed on women as ushers of life.  As if that weren't enough, word girl talk on the street is that waist beads also happen to arouse a man's visual nature--plus, he can tug on them gently to "communicate"... #hinttofuturehubby My genetics gypped me of the typical Black woman's bangin' booty and voluptuous hips, but I'm thinking that somehow, waist beads still create the illusion of curvature.  Once I get some, I'll be sure to tell you all about it!

*NOTE*  I couldn't find as much 'credible' information about waist beads as I could about henna, but try here for a good start: http://www.waistbeads.com/about/

Ain't I a woman??!

*EXPLICIT CONTENT ALERT*  

Please be advised that I will be discussing genitalia, sexuality, and other topics that may be considered 'offensive' to some. While it is not my intent to offend, the following post will contain my undiluted and unapologetic opinions on sensitive matters.  Consider your sanctified self warned!

[Note: The title of this post came from a momentous speech of the same name, originally given by Sojourner Truth.]

Fling Chune FRIDAY: Yes

Happy Friday, y'all! :o) I'm so excited... and I just can't hide it! Why?? Just because God brought me through yet another work week.

So lemme ask you [female readers] this: How's your boobage? Yes--I'm talkin' bout ya breastesses; aka "boobs", "ta-tas", "girls", "twins"... whatever you wanna call 'em. How are they feeling nowadays? Not spending much quality time with them? Unfortunately, neither am I.

OK, take a moment to wipe this look off your face... I'll wait.

image credit: http://massdisturbednation.com/

Now here's the deal. October is breast cancer awareness month and, to my knowledge, most of my readers have breasts--guys, if you're out there, this is a good time to make your presence known.  But because so many women have been and continue to be affected by this disease, I wanted to dedicate this Friday's chune to a worthy cause.  So here's my piece: please do your self-breast exams and/or get your annual mammogram! (And that's me being a hypocrite because I treat my self-exams like flossing... occasionally.) But I plan to create a monthly alarm to remind me to do it--for my own well-being.

Also, to get Black women's attention to the issue--since we are disproportionately affected by breast cancer compared to women of other ethnicities--Musiq Soulchild is now serving as "Ambassador for Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Circle of Promise, a movement designed to further engage black women around the globe in the fight against breast cancer."  His new music video depicts one such struggle from the perspective of the man who loves her, and I can honestly say that I haven't been as emotionally touched by a video since Aaron Hall's I Miss You.  

So, with no further ado and in tribute to breast cancer patients, survivors and martyrs everywhere, here is Yes.