Ayy! You talkin' to me?

Umm, what is really going on here? Did my 'cyber milkshake' just get all the way turned up without my knowledge?!  I've been approached by 3 random guys on FB in less than a week.  I mean yeah, it's just FB, but still... Why don't guys come at me in REAL LIFE?!! :o/  The timing is kinda interesting, though, because while making my "30th Year Bucket List", one of my latest entries was to develop at least one good platonic friendship with a guy.  Just today, I watched a video claiming that it's dang near impossible, but I'm an idealist at heart (in a realistic kinda way). *shrug*

One that I met in a Christian group says he's saved, active in his church and re-committed to abstinence until marriage. He's apparently a couple inches shorter than I am but the convo has been great; and I'm getting the vibe that he kinda likes me. 

Another messaged me out of the clear blue, and says he's a business owner and former professional athlete. I didn't really tell him about myself after just one convo cuz I was too busy trying to get him to tell me why he decided to talk to me in the first place. I ended it in an 'open ended' fashion, so I'll see what happens if he decides to pick up where things left off.

The last one is connected to a Christian couple that I was in a small group with. But he just upped and sent me a friend request... Never seen him before in my life (or if I did, I just don't remember).

*sigh*  Welp, either way this should be interesting... And feel free to chime in.  I'd love to hear what you think.

stay blessed,

pVI

Pray Together

I claim no rights to this image... except the right to dream; to pray; to declare with authority that this masterpiece by Kevin "WAK" Williams completely encapsulates my vision of love and marriage.  It is 'the prototype', as far as I'm concerned.

Around my 3rd year of college, I discovered Pray Together, Stay Together and it left me absolutely breathless.  I had not too long before broken up with the love of my life for one reason: spiritual incompatibility (and the cruel irony is that he and I visually resemble this couple).  [Re-]dedicating my life to Christ during a long-distance phase in our relationship made me realize that my boyfriend wasn't about to ride on that journey with me.  It was heart-breaking to end what felt like the best thing to ever happen to me, but I had to prove to God that HE was more important to me than him.  I Kissed Dating Goodbye helped my emotional transition, leading to the next promise I made to God about relationships [the previous one being that I wouldn't have sex until marriage].  I said "God, I trust that You know and want what's best for me. So I want You to choose my next relationship--the one that will be equally [spiritually] yoked and culminate in marriage, until it is broken by death."

So that was *ahem* a long, LONG time ago... #becarefulwhatyouprayfor!  And in recent times, I've become overwhelmed by longing for this person to whom I will become friend/wife/lover/helpmeet, to the point that I've been contemplating getting back with [wait for it...] that same old boyfriend.  Makes perfect sense, right?!  I hold out for years with great expectations of God's best, only to figuratively return to my vomit...  And then I would proceed to entertain that flesh with fantastic scenarios in my mind delicious enough to make my body temperature rise. *slams on spiritual brakes*

OK God, You ain't sayin' nuthin' and I am SO over this waiting business! So, you better give me a man, or a hint--or sumthin' like, yesterday--or else I'm gonna... I'm gonna... do something stupid that You'll I'll regret!!! And then I'll just ask beg and plead for forgiveness like nothing happened.  That is what You do, right?? [Just in case you missed it, that was me threatening God with an ultimatum. Right.]

And what happens next? Just like magic God in all His awesomeness, the following messages supernaturally make their way to me:

Hint #1 - Affirmative prayer via e-mail from my (single) friend and leader of a women's prayer circle containing the following excerpt:

Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me....Keep me from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me.

Hint #2 - Sermon audio clip shared by another (single) friend: The Making of a Woman by Pastor Jeffrey Johnson

Hint #3 - Q/A Tumblr post by Jed Brewer: Why is Sex Before Marriage Wrong?

So I've 'heard' from God... What happens now?  I wait some more.  I trust even more.  I pray--a whole lot more!  Because the image above is emblazoned across my consciousness, I won't can't accept anything less, no matter how baaaadly I want to.  God knows that in my heart, I want to adhere to His design for marriage and His perfect will for my life, so I believe that He will honor this in spectacular fashion!  He will orchestrate my discovery as the missing rib to the man who has prayed and fasted for me.  He will guide us together in a moment where our spirits will embrace each other before our bodies have even touched.  And once our bodies do touch for the first time on our wedding night... *mmh* we will be asking begging Him for mercy as our bond of emotional intimacy is sealed in ways we didn't know were humanly possible!  

But once the honeymoon subsides and real life sets in, our spirits will continue to commune with each other in the presence of almighty God.  We will storm the gates of hell in prayer and fasting because this man understands and walks in authority as the high priest of his home!  We will plead the blood of Jesus over our children, families and friends.  We will serve faithfully in our church and community, sowing into the lives of others.  We will be an exponentially greater threat to satan together than we ever could have been individually.  Shoo, we will even pray for God to keep us from killing each other on those 'off' days when he's not feeling me and when he's getting on my last nerve.

But until all of this comes to pass, I will continue to pray.  Then, he and I will pray--together... and stay together.  In Jesus' name, AMEN.

in prayer for him,

pVI

the "Black girl curse"

Real talk or just hype? Strangely enough, I found myself either relating directly to each of the women in this video in some way, or knowing a personal friend who does. (Except the 30-year-old attorney/NFL Cheerleader driving the Benz... you GO girl! No, really!) Is it coincidence?  Y'all know how I feel about that... But to do the math amongst my friends and classmates in my age range, I would say that it's roughly 50:50 married-to-single, with 2 (one man, one woman) being in interracial marriages.

Plus, I'm still tryna figure out how Steve Harvey became a relationship guru... or is this really some sort of sick and extended stand-up act?  I haven't [and probably won't] read his book, but one thing he said really caught my attention.  Tune in at 6:08 and let me know if you think that's a genuine contributing factor to the dilemma at hand.

While I personally subscribe to the philosophy of lasting socio-cultural damage done to the black family during the trans-Atlantic slavery era, I harbor no ill will towards black women--or anyone else--who date/marry outside of their race.  We're all members of the human race and should have the right to love 'across colors'.  But when notions of promotion and encouragement for us to look elsewhere except to black men are suggested as the answer, that always triggers a snap reaction in me.  When I hear/read comments asking "Why are black women hell-bent on marrying black men?", I indignantly retort "Why the hell not??!"  I don't know of any other ethnic group being out-rightly advised to taste other flavors because their own is leaving a bad taste in their mouth.  Apparently, "research" shows that black women just leave a bad taste in everyone's mouths; but I facetiously digress.

This matter obviously hits home for me, and God knows I can chop this up from morning 'til night but I didn't intend for this to turn into an emotionally-charged tirade.  One thing I will do is continue to pray that God will guide couples together.  And, hopefully they, too, are seeking God about whom they should marry... regardless of skin color, occupation, social status, or otherwise.

be blessed,

pVI