the "Black girl curse"

Real talk or just hype? Strangely enough, I found myself either relating directly to each of the women in this video in some way, or knowing a personal friend who does. (Except the 30-year-old attorney/NFL Cheerleader driving the Benz... you GO girl! No, really!) Is it coincidence?  Y'all know how I feel about that... But to do the math amongst my friends and classmates in my age range, I would say that it's roughly 50:50 married-to-single, with 2 (one man, one woman) being in interracial marriages.

Plus, I'm still tryna figure out how Steve Harvey became a relationship guru... or is this really some sort of sick and extended stand-up act?  I haven't [and probably won't] read his book, but one thing he said really caught my attention.  Tune in at 6:08 and let me know if you think that's a genuine contributing factor to the dilemma at hand.

While I personally subscribe to the philosophy of lasting socio-cultural damage done to the black family during the trans-Atlantic slavery era, I harbor no ill will towards black women--or anyone else--who date/marry outside of their race.  We're all members of the human race and should have the right to love 'across colors'.  But when notions of promotion and encouragement for us to look elsewhere except to black men are suggested as the answer, that always triggers a snap reaction in me.  When I hear/read comments asking "Why are black women hell-bent on marrying black men?", I indignantly retort "Why the hell not??!"  I don't know of any other ethnic group being out-rightly advised to taste other flavors because their own is leaving a bad taste in their mouth.  Apparently, "research" shows that black women just leave a bad taste in everyone's mouths; but I facetiously digress.

This matter obviously hits home for me, and God knows I can chop this up from morning 'til night but I didn't intend for this to turn into an emotionally-charged tirade.  One thing I will do is continue to pray that God will guide couples together.  And, hopefully they, too, are seeking God about whom they should marry... regardless of skin color, occupation, social status, or otherwise.

be blessed,

pVI

Lord, is that You??

I'm the kind of person that doesn't like to throw things to the winds of coincidence; I prefer to subscribe to the literal omnipotence of God.  So when I come in contact with a certain concept/experience several times within a certain period of time, I take it as a word from the Holy Spirit to my own.  For example, I would go to church and the sermon focused on a certain topic.  Then the same topic would come up randomly in a convo with someone who wasn't in church to hear the sermon.  Or, I would hear a related song on the radio or come across similar content online.  This happened in the months leading up to my first trip to Africa.  I would hear and see 'random' things related to my destination country to the point where I was convinced the planets had aligned to herald my pilgrimage to the Motherland. Something like that is what I've heard some call confirmation: essentially, God trying to get a certain point across by repeated exposure in any and all forms.

Interestingly enough, I've come across two particular instances of [what I would normally call] confirmation in the last 36 hours, all completely online:  intimacy and interracial relationships.  Yeah, I'm kinda freakin' out a little too...  The instances of intimacy started with a comment that I made on a friend's status on Facebook about intimacy being the foundation of God's intention for sex within marriage.  Shortly after, I stumble onto [yet another] new relationship advice web presence for single women--Finding Soulmate Success.  So, I'm perusing the site when the heading of a piece looked vaguely familiar... How to Restore Your Intimacy. *arf?* I didn't read the article but took a mental note, gave my computer the side-eye, and kept it moving.  Now, today, back on Facebook, another friend liked a post that made me do a double-take because it was highlighting what intimacy wasn't [sex] and was.  At this point, I'm wondering what the heck is really going on because right about now, I'm not in any relationship to apply said intimacy... unless you consider my relationship with Jesus.

Next up is the one that I found especially amusing.  In poking around the Finding Soulmate Success site, I decided to do the mandatory due diligence on its author, Ronn Elmore, PsyD.  One of his books caught my eye--How to Love a Black Man--so I did a web search on that.  Somehow, one of the results was a website devoted to interracial dating; specifically white men with black women... not sure how that happened but my interest was piqued so I looked around to see what people had to say.  I ended up reading comments about an interview with Robin Thicke on his relationship with Paula Patton.  After that, it was back over to--you guessed it--Facebook where things really got interesting.  One of my girlfriends posted about a movie she recently saw and liked, and tagged me in it.  Guess what it was about... Yup! A black woman falling in love with a white man... Starting to notice a pattern here?  *raised eyebrow*  So I message her asking why I was the only name she tagged and her response was fairly innocent.  But when I told her why I wanted to know, she joked with me that it was a sign that I needed to be more open-minded about finding my soulmate.  Well, I can honestly say that I've never dated a white man simply because, up to this point, one has never approached me.  (I was wrapped up with a bi-racial dude for a while... does that count?)  But real talk, aside from celebrity eye candy or a cute face on the street, there has never been a white guy that I have been genuinely attracted to like that.  Add my African heritage mindset plus my natural preference for 'dark chocolate' even among black men and I think you see where I'm going.  And then there's the socio-cultural disparity that would exist with me dating a white guy... I dunno if God is tryna give me a heads-up or what. 

Welp, at this point, I have anything but confirmation on the happenings above, but thanks for coming along with me for the crazy ride.  It will be interesting to see if anything significant comes of these... it it does, trust me when I say you'll hear it from me!  *sigh*  Never a dull moment...

be blessed,

pVI